my crazy little ramona,
for photos for this shoot, and for mothers day, i had intended on taking you to the woods. i had wanted to take you to the mountains and show you how your papa and i explore. but, alas, the days got away from us as they are wont to do and i was forced to explore other options. and, as i resigned myself to this adventure–thinking what sort of exploring is done in the urban jungle we tread miles in every day?–i was surprised to realize that, yes, in fact there is always much exploring to be done wherever you are at. wherever anyone is at.
explore (and love) where you live. introduce yourself to your neighbors. invite them over for bbqs. play outside with the other kids. frequent and support the local shops. walk the blocks. find new parks. travel by bike trails and follow the river to new places. be an advocate for your community. live where you can do these sorts of things.
explore communication. explore your expression. explore your creative outlets. talk to lots of different people. learn languages. learn music, even if you never learn to play. read books and blogs and magazines and news sources. learn the latest technology but don’t always rely on it. write letters. say what you mean. do not mince your words. always be kind in your speech. never sell yourself out. mean what you say. stay true to your art.
explore food. try everything at least once. don’t be afraid of the weird stuff. find what you like. know what you love.
explore simplicity. live deeply, live fully. you need not a ton of money or resources to do so. in fact, that may hinder you. explore what it means and looks like to live simply. simplicity, in its many forms, opens up a world full of small joys. and you will be richer for it.
explore tradition. respect what others do in their cultures and in their religions and in their families. create your own traditions and rites and rituals, especially when you grow up and have your own family. you don’t ever have to do something just because that’s how it’s “always been done” but understand that how it’s “always been done” is really important to some people.
explore your style. never let anyone tell you how you should look, act, or feel. that is up to you.
explore your fears. i, my dear, am afraid of vomit. and then i had a baby. and i learned i had to get over that. and i did. i am also afraid of small talk. but i have learned that it serves me well in social networking situations, which i find myself in a lot with your papa’s line of work. whaddya know? now i have met some great friends whose friendship started off with some awful sort of small talk where we both had to get over the mostly-ever-present hump of talking about uninteresting things to get to know someone. and long ago i had a great big fear of not being loved. but then i met your papa and allowed him to show me what being loved looked and felt like. and here we all are now. i have not a clue what your fears will be but i urge you to not let them make you feel small.
love, mama.
read other letters to ramona bean over here, here, here, and here.
this post is done in collaboration with sakura bloom. the sling i am wearing is the simple linen in wheat. the beautiful photos are by JP (taken on his trusty iPhone) and were taken out and about in the lower highland of denver.
the hand-painted infiniti scarf i am wearing is a rory brinker, a new company getting started by a dear friend of mine. the tagline for rory brinker is “wear love around” and i am proud to be wearing this scarf around the places that i love. you can also check out more photos of rory brinker scarves on their facebook page.
my sweet ramona bean,
this photo series pretty much sums you up right now: always on the move.
you, my friend, are the light of my life. you shine with energy, charisma, and curiosity. you are a mover and a groover; persistent, strong, determined. you took a slow motion side roll off the front steps today and i was really impressed with your recovery — even with the bloody gums you got. it didn’t seem to faze you and you still are intent on mastering those steps. or gravity. you are tough.
yesterday we went to a new playground and i sat you down on the edge of the sandy play area. it didn’t take you two seconds to figure out you wanted to explore. you were away from my side in a heartbeat and crawled right toward the group of older kids playing. then you made your way to the bottom of the slide and stood there, playing with and eating sand and talking to whoever would listen. i came to get you only when it looked like a bigger child was going to come tearing down the slide. your independence, your fearlessness, astound me.
your noises are becoming more and more varied and pronounced. there’s a sound you make that sounds like “otto” and you use it correctly. sometimes. but we’re still giving you time to figure out what you really want to say.
you discovered dancing. whenever i turn on a record you bounce your body to the music. you do the same for the silly songs i sing you. sometimes the only way i can get your attention is by singing about a spider or a peanut and then you’ll look at me and beam and bounce and clap your hands. you clap and shake and wave and–my favorite–give kisses when asked. it’s amazing.
food finally makes sense to you. pickle spears, yogurt, spicy salsa, eggs, beans, guacamole, vinegar chips, anything really except for fruit. you eat it and seem to enjoy it. it appears this correlates with the appearance of your two top teeth. they give you a little more mastery over the food now that you can chomp it up instead of just gumming it. i love to watch you eat.
papa and you have developed (and continue to develop) an extremely special relationship. he receives the biggest smile from you when he gets home or whenever he walks into the room. you love when he flips you around and roughhouses with you. and he’s the only one that can get you to do that really big laugh of yours. he is the best papa ever. you and i are lucky ladies.
i celebrated my first mothers day this month. you honored it by peeing on my head first thing in the morning (note to self: velcro diapers only have so many uses in them before you can expect to wake up to find your baby standing up against the head of your bed with her diaper half off, pee flowing on your face and pillow). what a riot. that day i held you close and whispered in your ear many times, “thank you for making me a mother.” we really were meant for each other, all three of us.
i love ramona. oh yes, i do. i love ramona. oh yes, it’s true. when you’re not with me i’m blue. oh ramona, i love you.
i love you. love, mama.
*see ramona at other months: nine, seven, five, three, one, birth.*
my minka moo,
before i say anything i must say this: be yourself. this is the most important style advice anyone has ever told me and, i am confident, the most important style advice anyone will ever tell you.
you have probably noticed by now that your mother is not incredibly stylish. i mean, i know a few tricks and follow a few rules but i don’t believe the words fashionable or stylish or trendy have ever been used to describe me. and even though you will roll your eyes at me when you are in jr high bc you cannot believe your mom is not as cool as other moms (trust me, it happens to all of us jr highers) you must realize that i still have style. it’s something i’ve been working on through the years. it goes back and forth, spot on and missing the mark, changing course every few seasons, always with the goal of finding a style i feel most comfortable in. i’m not talking comfortable like socks with sandals (you’ll have to talk to your pops about that one) but comfortable as in the previous paragraph: what makes me feel most like myself and allows me to creatively and honestly convey this to those around me. my style is my wardrobe, surely, but it is also my reactions, my communications, my writing, my causes, my home, my community, my conversations, my actions, my relationships, my habits. it is what i choose to do with these and in these spaces that convey much about my style; lets us know much about others’ styles. and so, because i cannot tell you what shoes will be the best for next season or why one-shouldered tops are apparently acceptable again (i really have no clue about that one) i will share with you some of the “style” rules i find myself more or less following almost most of the time.
smile. but only when you mean it. but find lots of excuses to mean it.
do not read beauty magazines. they will only make you feel ugly (this is a quote from jewel that’s stuck w me).
you will worry a lot less what others think about you when you realize how little they do. pops (the man who will walk in public with sandals and socks) says this all the time and he got it from eleanor roosevelt.
get plenty of sleep and drink lots of water. but don’t forget to find some nights to stay up late and have fun with friends over many bottles of wine (in due time, of course).
buy good quality. buying something bc it is on sale or inexpensive is a false economy (read walden for more information on that). buy what fits, what flatters, what lasts. be picky about what you give a home in your closet.
change your hair color. cut your hair. it will always grow out or back if you don’t like it. also, find a good stylist whom you like and respect and stick with them. don’t be afraid to spend some moola on a hairstyle that makes you feel fabulous.
trends are trends. stick to the classics. or don’t. your mama’s style is pretty much jeans and a t-shirt. maybe some fun shoes and red lips. but if you wanna sport a mohawk or mismatched patterns or lots of glitter, go on with your bad self.
find your own personal outlet of expression. own it.
be kind to people. all people. expect others to be kind to you and others. speak up when injustices occur.
don’t be afraid to leave the house without makeup on. i mean, i usually regret it but it’s totally ok. if you’re in a pinch remember: mascara first. then lips. then cheeks. but remember that you’re beautiful without any of those.
wear sunscreen.
feel free to reinvent yourself — college or travels or moving to a new city are good for that. but do not lose yourself or mask yourself. this goes back to my first point: always be yourself.
i love you. love, mama.
read other letters to ramona bean over here, here, here, here, and here.
this post is done in collaboration with sakura bloom. the sling i am wearing is the essential silk in midnight & pebble. the beautiful photos are by grey paper photography and were taken on the rooftop of linger.
beanie boo,
you are becoming quite the little lady! you are eating almost anything almost all the time. almost. you are crawling, pulling yourself up on furniture, standing, moving along the furniture, making so many noises, clapping, singing, smiling, laughing, and peek-a-boo-ing.
i recently told everyone you won’t take a pacifier but guess what?! you do now and, quite honestly, i’m super happy about it. it helps you fall asleep for your naps easier (long gone are the days that you nurse to sleep) and i think they help you nap longer. you only get to have a pacifier at nap time and bed time or in the bike trailer (which you still sorta freak out about) and we never substitute it for nursing or feeding you. either way, it’s been a lifesaver. after you nurse, i plop the pacifier in and hold you to my chest and you snuggle into my neck and we both relax. the transition into bed is usually seamless, even if you’re a little awake. you may not sleep thorough the night–not even close–but thanks for making sleeping time relatively painless.
i am having so much fun watching you grow and hanging out with you. though i am finally getting what other parents mean when they say “it gets harder.” you are becoming independent, which means you can play on your own or with max or go exploring around the house or yard. but with this independence comes opinions and awareness of likes and dislikes and the desire to communicate these with those around you. so you go back and forth from being totally content on your own to so so needy. it’s fine and i embrace it but you certainly have my head spinning. the old tricks don’t always work and we’re always looking for new ways to get you comfy. but when you smile and snuggle, oh it makes it all worth it!
gone are the days where just anyone can hold you. you have a case of “stranger danger” and if i’m around i’m the only arms you want to be in. this, of course, breaks a lot of hearts since you have a large fan base. however, given time to warm up to someone, you are a little ham. you clap on cue (and much much more on your own) and you stick out your tongue and PFSSST and even the shortest game of peekaboo makes you squeal with delight. you love to crawl into laps and scooch around on your tush moving 360 degrees. when papa comes home you usually meet him in the front yard and you kick your feet and giggle and smile at him. this makes him feel so so good. you even wave and one time you said “Hi!” and waved to some stranger that walked in the door at Crema. It was undeniable but you haven’t said it since that i’ve heard.
more and more, as you get older, my relationship with you makes me think of my relationship with nona. soon after you were born, i was on the phone w nona and i remember saying: “i had no idea how much you love me.” ramona, you have no idea how much i love you. and that’s ok. and i’m really starting to get it, this mother/daughter thing and all its ups and downs. i understand how it is possible for us to one day be the best of friends and also the worst enemies. and how you’ll want to tell me everything but also nothing. and im getting how, that through it all, no matter what, no matter who you are or who you become, or who you fall in love with, or how you succeed or fail, or how you dress or what you say or believe: i will be unable to not love you. i mean, heaven forbid i ever try, but i see how it is impossible to diminish this love i have for you, daughter.
peanut sitting on a railroad track. heart was all a flutter. round the bend comes number ten. choo! choo! peanut butter.
i love you. love, mama.
*see ramona at other months: eight, six, four, two, one, birth.*
my dear ramona,
love your family. we are weird. we are flawed. we will say the wrong things. we will embarrass you. we will fight. but we love you. we will always let you be you and we will always listen to you. we are celebrating you every single day. take advantage of this wide support system you have in your parents, your grandparents, your aunts and uncles, your cousins.
love people, as you love yourself. people are fun! get to know them. all sorts of them. don’t let appearances or backgrounds necessarily get in the way of getting to know and love others. treat them well and you will open up for yourself a community of beings that will teach you so many different things. not everyone will love you back but that’s not the point and don’t let that hold you back. it doesn’t always happen exactly when you want, but love people honestly and you will make good and faithful friends.
love creatures, too. treat animals with respect and honor their lives by being conscious of and thankful for the gifts they are giving you with their bodies. pet them, feed them, talk to them, care for them. you will learn a lot by watching a brood of hens or a tribe of goats. and the quiet time and fresh air is good for your health and well-being.
love hard work. choose something you love and go after it ferociously. people say to find the thing you love to do for free and then find a way to get paid for it. i tend to agree with these people. but it won’t always be easy so be ready to fall in love with working working working at it. you will get rejected, you will make mistakes, you will fail. this is ok. usually, when these things happen, it helps you redirect or refocus your work. success does not usually look like your original goal. be flexible. but love what you do.
love excellence. love craft. love the underdog. love details and the big picture. love moving your body and jumping and dancing and singing. love the quiet and what you discover in moments of prayer and mediation. love the written word.
love deeply. too many people are too careful with love. they hoard it for the “right” moment. it is of my opinion that these people miss out. do not be afraid to love.
love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
love yourself and know that you are loved.
i love you.
love, mama
.
read other letters to ramona bean over here, here, here, here, and here.
this post is done in collaboration with sakura bloom. the sling i am wearing is the simple linen in wheat. the beautiful photos are by lashley rhodes.
welcome
