A Denver Home Companion | little bug 16 weeks

dear little bug,

it’s been 16 weeks since you’ve been brewing! this pregnancy, little one, is in some ways so different than what i experienced with your big sister but also so so similar. you both knocked me on my butt for a solid eight weeks during the first trimester. you made me tired and exhausted and unable to eat my usual foods or go a day without dry heaving — a symptom of pregnancy that is your papa’s least favorite thing to deal with.

but miss ramona, your big sister, she keeps me busy. and does her darndest, consciously or otherwise, to keep me distracted from you. sometimes i forget i am pregnant, little bug. each day is go, go, go with ramona (you’ll soon discover). and so i must remember to take moments on the couch when i’m reading with miss mo, or during nap time, or lying still before bedtime, to spend some time with you, to feel you wiggle and flip inside me, to send good vibes your way with a gentle hand on my belly, and deliver fresh air to you via deep, meaningful breaths. you are a great excuse to seek mindfulness in the everyday.

it’s how it is: the second child not necessarily getting the documentation which could be afforded with the first one. but, sweet child, i was also the baby of the family, and so i intend to remember these moments with you in my belly, and then with you as a newborn, as vividly as i can. i want to be able to pass on sweet sweet memories to you.

16 weeks? we’re not even halfway there yet. but we’ve heard your heartbeat and i’ve felt you move. and my tummy is slowly but surely moving into the baby bump stage. right now, it’s debatable what’s baby and what’s just some extra padding i procured in between being pregnant with your sister and you. no matter. i’ll embrace it. i’m growing with you!

i love you, little bug. love, mama

|| wool cardigan: j.crew || maternity/nursing top: RoundBellies (thanks, mama!) ||  jeans: gap || shoes: frye ||

here is me at 16 weeks pregnant with miss ramona bean.

readers, what are your favorite pair of maternity jeans? here i’m wearing gap, but i bought them in a smaller size than i’m used to so they wouldn’t fall off my ass, but now i’m afraid it’s going to make my midsection suffer later. also, i bought a camera remote. here are some outtakes.

A Denver Home Companion

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A Denver Home Companion | twelve weeks

let the weekly belly bump photos commence! well, let’s be honest, if there’s anything there it’s just a thick-looking midsection. though i definitely can’t fit into my regular clothes i am not sporting a cute little bump. yet. here’s a peek at me in the first trimester with ramona.

i’d also like to have an excuse to work on my style. i wore what i could with ramona, scrounging around for anything that fit. i didn’t have the most fun dressing the bump even though i absolutely loved having it. this time around, i want to have so much fun with it.

|| top: madewell || cut-off shorts: old calvin klein’s unbuttoned. yes, unbuttoned ||

what maternity wardrobe must-haves do i need to add to my closet?

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Grave, my wife lies back, hands cross
her chest, while the doctor searches early
for your heartbeat, peach pit, unripe

plum–pulls out the world’s worst
boom box, a Mr. Microphone, to broadcast
your mother’s lifting belly.

The whoosh and bellows of mama’s body
and beneath it: nothing. Beneath
the slow stutter of her heart: nothing.

The doctor trying again to find you, fragile
fern, snowflake. Nothing.
After, my wife will say, in fear,

impatient, she went beyond her body,
this tiny room, into the ether–
for now, we spelunk for you one last time

lost canary, miner of coal
and chalk, lungs not yet black–
I hold my wife’s feet to keep her here–

and me–trying not to dive starboard
to seek you in the dark water. And there
it is: faint, an echo, faster and further

away than mother’s, all beat box
and fuzzy feedback. You are like hearing
hip-hop for the first time–power

hijacked from the lamppost–all promise.
You couldn’t sound better, break-
dancer, my favorite song bumping

from a passing car. You’ve snuck
into the club underage and stayed!
Only later, much, will your mother

begin to believe your drumming
in the distance–my Kansas City
and Congo Square, this jazz band

vamping on inside her.

Kevin Young

[today we heard the heartbeat of our little bug. ramona and papa were perched next to mama’s head while maren worked her magic to amplify the sounds of the still teeny, moving, little squirm that’s located inside me somewhere behind my pubic bone. we weren’t expecting to hear it and so my heart did flips when we did. even though we’ve seen the heartbeat twice now on ultrasounds, there is just something so so magical about hearing it. i posted this same poem when we heart ramona’s heartbeat for the first time.]

A Denver Home Companion | first trimester

this trimester knocked me out. i wasn’t totally overcome with insane nausea –but it was there. and often it came bc i was hungry. but the problem was, nothing at all sounded good to eat. nothing. more than all that though, i was dog tired. dog. tired. i would get up from bed to do something productive and could only make it to the couch. where i would stay for as long as ramona would allow. and then i’d get up to try to do something again and would find myself back in bed. it was brutal. poor ramona and i were cooped up and had cabin fever bad. i couldn’t even get up to take a walk around the block. thankfully, i have a wonderful hubby and amazing friends who really chipped in with spending time w ramona to give me a break.

here’s what helped me try to cope with nausea and extreme exhaustion (weeks 6-8 were the absolute worst!): 1. liz lange maxi dress bc not having to pick out an outfit each day is key || 2. hue ultra wide waistband leggings bc i already don’t fit in many of my pants! || 3. house of cards on netflix for when i was too tired to read or leave the couch || 4. saltine crackers (kept in every room in the house) || 5. ginger snap cookies (kept in every room in the house) || 6. lavender room spray for relaxation || 7. tons of sparkling water to calm the belly || 8. barney to keep ramona company || 9. lemon drops seemed to soothe a nauseous tummy when i couldn’t bring myself to eat anything || 10. (not pictured) a loving, patient hubby to pick up my slack and help take care of the things i usually take care of.

have you experienced a rough first trimester? what got you through it? how long did your symptoms last? i’m still more tired than usual but am way better than i was doing a couple of weeks ago and certainly see the light at the end of the tunnel.

i popped!

this week is where, i think, my belly made the transition from inexplicable-weight-gain to pregnant tummy (i mean, i LOVE potato chips but c’mon guys, i have some self-respect). samantha, the pastry chef at work, was the first to point it out and after that, each day, more and more people exclaim: “look at that belly!”
i’m still waiting for a customer to point it out–knowing that will be when i either a) REALLY look like an undeniably pregnant woman or b) just encountered someone who doesn’t know the etiquette that you are not to comment on someone’s possible pending pregnancy unless they have told you themselves they are pregnant (lest they are not pregnant and are just well-endowed in the torso area).

i’m in pajamas with bed head (and so unashamed) bc we got a call from our midwife this morning that our monthly meeting is postponed since they are at a birth. jonathan and i were fine with this–actually a little happy–since we know one day in july, if all goes as planned, we will be giving birth in our tiny home with the assistance of two amazing midwives and that other people and their appointments will just have to wait for our little bean to be born.

so grooming was postponed, pictures ensued, pancakes were eaten and now piles of laundry are waiting to be folded and put away.
LOVE!
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