we used to think we had it easy: bed sharing with a baby that didn’t move and could latch on to nurse in her sleep. this arrangement woke up virtually none of us so even though ramona wasn’t sleeping through the night (and still isn’t) we all slept like she had.

but now she’s big. and moves in her sleep. and babbles in her sleep. and so we’ve started putting her in a crib (it’s actually a pack n play) at the foot of our bed in our one tiny bedroom. and she sleeps better with no other bodies around to distract her (recently she’s started rooting on jp’s cheeks after she’s had enough from me). and we’ve started sleeping better without a flailing baby taking up room and knocking us in the face.

and now, even with overall better sleep,  i’m complaining bc i have to actually get my tired butt out of bed to get her out of the crib to nurse her for her nightly feedings (every 3-4 hours after she goes to bed between 6:00 and 7:00). i always pull her back into bed with us but am usually awoken no-one-knows-when-bc-i’m-too-delirious-to-look-at-the-clock later by a flailing, grunting baby. so i have to get up–again–and put her back in the crib on her belly where she falls fast and quietly asleep.

all this to say, well, nothing really, except that while i’ll always be a proponent and advocate of bed sharing, i have no idea how people do it for so long and with larger, more active children or with multiple children. that is not judgment. that is actual disbelief and respect. bc i love love love sleeping with ramona. but jp and i always agreed that if our sleep was negatively affected we’d have to reevaluate and, sadly, i think that time has come.


10 Responses to sleep patterns

  1. mld says:

    isn’t it amazing how she doesn’t flail when she’s on her own?!

  2. Sorry mama! I know how much you loved co-sleeping, hopefully the new arraingement works out for you guys!

  3. melinda sue says:

    some nights i never notice asher in our bed, some nights (like last night) he flails, and kicks, and keeps us up all night (well mostly matthew, but when he is up, he makes sure i am too by waking me up every 5 seconds to tell me to make the baby stop kicking him). but i don’t have the energy to retrain him to sleep in his own bed again (he did for awhile, but when he stopped making it through the night i didn’t fight it) because i love him there next to me. soon… it will have to be. i am hoping we can hold it off until he is 2.

    being a mom is hard. hard decisions have to be made every day. a happy rested mama is better than a sleep deprived crabby one.

    • emily says:

      thanks for the encouragement, melinda. it’s nice to know other moms are going thru the same stuff even though the babes are different ages. sometimes, when ramona is sleeping perpendicular to jp and i, i remind myself: this is only for a brief moment in her life.

      other times, of course, i’m like: can i have my sound sleep back please?!

  4. claire says:

    oh yes, i’m hearing you!

    we are co-sleeping with saskia, and both found this to be the best way for us when she stopped sleeping well in her bassinet around 2 months….for a while my partner slept with us too and it didn’t bother him, but then he started to realise that he was noticing her in bed more and more, and becoming quite tired at work. poor thing then chose to sleep in the spare room. we’re both so sad about that – but get lovely time together upstairs from 7-11pm when she sleeps quite well.

    we’re working up to changing the arrangement, but Saskia feeds so frequently during the night, we’re both reluctant to, for the very point you are making.

    ….and i too, just LOVE sleeping with her. Nothing beats waking up to a little bebe talking.

    • emily says:

      i can imagine that working nicely: time for you and your partner and then time for you and your little one. unfortunately for us the only option besides our family bed is the couch and that is not nearly as comfy or cozy as an extra bed.

      like you said, it’s the frequent feeding that seems to postpone alternate arrangements.

      mornings w baby (bebe!) are the best.

  5. Rebecca says:

    Just found you through marvelouskiddo. I love this post…our 22 month old boy slept in bed with us until 20 months; now he’s on his crib mattress on the floor next to us (but ends up in the “big bed” in the middle of each night). We’ve had quite the adventure figuring out a sleeping arrangement that worked for all of us…and even that is ever changing :). Its nice to have them close. Good luck figuring out your best style and good luck on sleep in the meantime!

    P.S. I’m in Denver, too :). Loving the weather this week, yes?

  6. Rebecca says:

    P.P.S. Shoot, I hope it didn’t sound like I was trying to compare or brag or whatever…on the contrary, just empathize…like I said above, bedsharing has been a learning adventure for us, just like parenting. There were/are plenty of challenges in keeping him with us that long! Best!

    • emily says:

      don’t worry! i did not take that the wrong way and honesty, anyway, is welcomed here! i’m glad you stopped by.

      we’ve considered a floor mattress but for now we are so tight on space that we’re putting that off for a while longer. either way, she’ll stay in our room for a long while more (esp since we only have one bedroom!).

      this weather is amazing! all my windows are wide open and we’ve been soaking up the sun and warm breeze.

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