when you enter a restaurant and the host/ess says “hi! how are you?” or “hi! how can i help you?” or some variation thereof, do not respond with: “two” or “two, please” or “reservation for schmidt” or other such grunts.

more appropriate responses are: “hi! i’m well. how are you?” “hi! yes, i’d love a table for two.” or “hello. i have a reservation under schmidt.”
the host/ess IS there to get you seated as quickly as possible. but she is also a human and worthy of common courtesies and greetings. just like your mother (hopefully) taught you.

questions, comments, feedback? please leave a note for me below. i'd love to hear from you!

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