I HAVE DECIDED
I have decided to find myself a home in the mountains, somewhere high up where one learns to live peacefully in the cold and silence. It’s said that in such a place certain revelations may be discovered. That what the spirit reaches for may be eventually felt, if not exactly understood. Slowly, no doubt. I’m not talking about a vacation.
Of course at the same time I mean to stay exactly where I am.
Are you following me?
–Mary Oliver in A Thousand Mornings
after a wonderful trip to florida with ramona and my mother (three generations of spunky olson women!) followed by a babymoon getaway to texas hill country with jp, it is time to hunker down, settle in, nest, and prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the arrival of little bug. i’m thankful i got to jet away for a little bit before life plants me firmly at home, where i ought to be. and where i want to continue cultivating as a sanctuary of peace, serenity, intention, and calm.
the diapers and burp rags are washed and folded. i’ve gone through all of ramona’s baby clothes, from 0-12 months, laundered and put them away in a new spot for baby #2. my birth kit is stocked and ready to go. i have been taking my vitamins, watching what i eat, drinking tons of water, constantly sipping on red raspberry leave and nettle tonic, and snuggling ramona whenever she will let me. home feels good and right. we are ready to meet this little girl.
time with ramona is precious. it’s important to me her and i keep connecting as much as we can since things will be changing so soon. i make eye contact with her, dance w her, hold her when she needs, take our sweet old time with tucking into bed and nap time, sing her a million songs, and always say yes to one more book. man, she sure is my little lady.
we accept any good vibes and prayers sent our way as we enter into this next stage of family. love to all of you.
this above photo is from when we finally arrived in denver on our way home from florida. ramona, who has been potty trained for the good part of a year, decided to empty her bladder in her plane seat while i was reading her a book. just like that. soaking her pants and dress on the first of our TWO legs home. and of course i didn’t have any extra clothes bc, well, she never has any accidents. never say never, right? luckily, i had one stray diaper, which was intended for our second leg where i was hoping she would take a snooze (she does wear diapers for bed time). i asked her why she did that. “because i do that,” she said matter-of-factly. i couldn’t have put it more succinctly myself, miss minka. the pilot on our second flight offered her a t-shirt from his suitcase (god bless southwest airlines) which she wore for about 10 seconds. she just loved being able to be mostly naked out and about. silly girl. this is one for the books.
Oh my goodness, what a precious photo of Ramona! So funny. I have a 3-year-old (as of Friday, his birthday) son and a 1-year-old daughter, and reading this post reminded me of those bittersweet last few days with just my son. It has been a whirlwind first year with two babies, but you will still find those special moments for just you and Ramona…and when you see the interaction and the bonding between her and her little sis, you will be absolutely filled to the brim. It’s not easy by any means, but there are moments of grace and you will find them. Best wishes to you and your family!
thank you so much for that encouragement, tricia! words like these certainly work to soothe any anxieties i have about sharing my attention with an additional child.
Thinking of you as enter the last days of being a mama of one! I really enjoyed reading your birth story- it sounds very similar to mine; I had a whirlwind 6-hour labor in a birthing center with my first, who was also posterior and the back labor was agony. But I was so proud of myself once I gave birth, that I had stuck with it and made it through! My second was born at home, and third in a hospital with no drugs. All three were amazing experiences and completely, utterly different from each other.
I wish you good luck, send you good vibes, and keep you in my thoughts. Sooooo excited for you!
lauren, do you have your birth stories on your blog? i’d be so interested in reading them, especially since they are all so different!
the bottom section of this post had me laughing out loud. that Ramona is adorable! good luck with your preparations. and enjoy these (final) precious moments as a family of three and a momma of one…big and exciting changes will be here before you know it!
thanks, batya! she is such a ham. you are right: the next step is just going to be so big and exciting.